How To Communicate Pain or Pressure Properly

As a massage therapist, one of the most important things I want my clients to know is this: your voice matters just as much as my hands. Massage isn’t something that happens to you—it’s something we create together. And the quality of your session depends heavily on how well you communicate what you’re feeling, especially when it comes to pain or pressure.

Many people hesitate to speak up during a massage. They don’t want to seem “difficult,” they think discomfort is normal, or they assume the therapist will just know. The truth is, every body is different. What feels perfectly therapeutic to one person might feel overwhelming or ineffective to another. Clear communication helps ensure your massage is safe, comfortable, and truly beneficial.

Let’s talk about how you can communicate pain or pressure properly—and why it makes such a big difference.

Why Communication Is So Important in Massage

Massage works on muscles, connective tissue, and the nervous system. The goal may be relaxation, pain relief, improved mobility, or stress reduction—but regardless of the goal, your comfort level guides the session.

When you communicate clearly:

• The therapist can adjust pressure to match your body’s needs

• You reduce the risk of soreness or injury

• You get better results, faster

• You leave feeling cared for, not drained

Pain is not always a sign that something is working. Sometimes, it’s a signal that your body needs a gentler approach.

Understanding “Good” Sensation vs. Harmful Pain

A lot of clients say, “I thought it was supposed to hurt a little.” Let’s clear that up.

Healthy massage discomfort may feel like:

• A “good hurt” that eases as you breathe

• Mild tenderness on tight or overworked muscles

• Pressure that feels intense but manageable

Unhealthy pain often feels like:

• Sharp, stabbing, or burning sensations

• Pain that makes you hold your breath or tense up

• Numbness, tingling, or shooting pain

• Pain that lingers or worsens after the session

If you feel anything in the second list, that’s your cue to speak up right away.

When Should You Speak Up?

The short answer: anytime something doesn’t feel right.

Here are common moments when communication is especially helpful:

• When the pressure is too deep or too light

• If a certain area feels extra sensitive

• When you feel discomfort instead of relief

• If an old injury or medical condition starts to flare up

• When your comfort level changes during the session

You don’t need to wait or “tough it out.” Adjustments can be made instantly.

How to Communicate Pressure Clearly (Without Overthinking It)

You don’t need medical terms or perfect wording. Simple, honest language works best.

Try phrases like:

• “A little lighter, please.”

• “That pressure is perfect right there.”

• “That’s starting to feel a bit too intense.”

• “Can you go deeper on my shoulders?”

• “That spot feels sensitive today.”

If it helps, use a scale:

• “This is about a 7 out of 10—can we bring it down to a 5?”

Clear feedback helps your therapist fine-tune their technique to your body.

Breathing Is a Big Clue

If you notice yourself holding your breath, clenching your jaw, or tightening your shoulders, that’s often a sign the pressure is too much. Your therapist may notice this—but it’s still helpful to say something.

You might say:

• “I’m finding it hard to relax here.”

• “I feel myself tensing up.”

Massage should encourage your body to let go, not brace itself.

Before the Massage: Set the Stage

Good communication starts before the hands-on work begins.

During the intake or consultation, be open about:

• Areas of chronic pain or injury

• Recent stress, workouts, or long work hours

• Your pressure preference (light, medium, deep)

• Any past massage experiences—good or bad

The more context you share, the better your therapist can tailor the session to you.

After the Massage: Feedback Still Matters

Your feedback doesn’t end when the massage does. Sharing how you feel afterward helps your therapist improve future sessions.

You can mention:

• Areas that felt especially helpful

• Spots that felt too tender

• Whether you felt relaxed, sore, or energized

• What you’d like more or less of next time

This kind of communication builds a better long-term therapist–client relationship.

Common Myths That Hold People Back

Let’s gently bust a few myths:

“The therapist will be offended.”

Not at all. Feedback helps us do our job better.

“Pain means it’s working.”

Effective massage is about balance, not endurance.

“I don’t want to interrupt.”

You’re not interrupting—you’re participating.

“They should already know.”

Your body is unique. Your input is essential.

Your Comfort Is Part of the Treatment

Massage is not a test of tolerance. It’s a therapeutic experience meant to support your well-being. When you communicate openly about pain or pressure, you help create a session that’s safer, more effective, and more enjoyable.

As a massage therapist, I can confidently say this: the best sessions happen when clients feel comfortable speaking up. Your feedback allows us to work with your body—not against it.